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About Midlife
Journeys
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For many people, midlife is a time of transformation, a time of seeking
greater purpose, joy and meaning in the second half of life. Midlife
Journeys is a monthly newsletter designed to support you in
reconnecting with your authentic self and energizing your life through
deep self-nurturing, creative expression and heart-centered living. Each
issue contains inspiration and resources to help guide you on your
journey to greater aliveness, joy and fulfillment.
Community Events
UCLA Extension's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (for people over 50)
has several programs starting in late February and March of interest to
people in midlife.
Conscious Journey into the Second Half of Life, taught by Beverly
Olevin, MA. "In this four week workshop discover how a meaningful
and authentically lived life requires active consciousness. Explore
practical ways to link your values, beliefs and passions to your
actions." Thursdays, 1-3:30, Feb. 28 - March 20.
Making a Brand New Life with Carolyn See: Advice for Winners, Losers
and Dreamers."...this special short program uses good humor and
a bit of drama to explore the life we'd like to live but haven't quite
realized." Friday, March 14, 10am - 12pm.
For more information contact the Osher Institute at 310-825-9971 or visit
www.uclaextension.edu.
Speakers Event
Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies; Plan B) and Elizabeth
Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) are speaking together at UCLA's
Royce Hall on Friday, March 28 at 8pm. For more information visit www.uclalive.org.
Books about Love and Forgiveness:
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, Harville Hendrix,
PhD
The 8 Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive, Susan Page
Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together,
Kathryn Alice
Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle, Colin C. Tipping
To ensure that you receive your editions of Midlife Journeys newsletter,
please put the following email address in your email address book: newsletter@midlifejourneys.com
Please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone who would enjoy receiving
it!
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The Power of
Forgiveness
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"Forgiveness removes a block in us
to our awareness of Love's Presence." -A Course in Miracles
One of the greatest acts of love we can offer to ourselves and others on
Valentine's Day (or any other day!) is the gift of forgiveness. Whenever
we hold onto grievances, resentments, blame, or seeing ourselves as a
victim of any story, we block ourselves from Love.
So forgiveness is not really for the benefit of another person, but is
very much in our own self-interest. It is the ultimate act of Self-love.
The process allows us to lighten our load and open back up to love and
peace within our own hearts.
By midlife, we've had lots of time to accumulate grievances and many of
us are carrying around a pretty heavy load of old baggage. The problem is
these grievances literally weigh us down. They take our energy, depress
our mood and limit our thinking about what's possible in our life. They
keep us from creating the life we truly want.
Research shows that forgiveness is good for both our mental and physical
health. It reduces depression, defuses anger, deepens our spirituality,
enhances our emotional self-confidence, increases our energy level and
helps us live with greater peace.
Now forgiveness doesn't mean being a doormat or condoning or forgetting a
behavior or injury. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have dinner
or any contact with the person you're forgiving. It also doesn't mean
it's wrong to feel feelings of hurt or anger. What diminishes you,
though, is holding onto that anger and remaining a victim of your past.
Forgiveness is the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt
less personally, take responsibility for how you feel and become the hero
instead of a victim of the story you tell yourself.
So this Valentine's Day, I invite you to commit the ultimate act of
Self-Love: forgiveness, of yourself and others. Take a moment to think
about any people in your life toward whom you feel anger and resentment.
Ask your heart who you need to forgive.
Also take a look at where you're judging yourself. Where can you soften
towards yourself in your own heart? We all make mistakes and it's human
to be less than perfect. Let go of judging yourself as bad or wrong for
those mistakes. You were doing the best you knew how at the time. Begin
to replace the self- judgment with understanding, compassion and loving
kindness.
The following is one path to forgiveness adapted from Mary Manin
Morrissey's Life Mastery program (www.lifeSOULutions.com ):
1. Take a deep breath and place your hand on your heart. Send love to
your heart. Ask your Higher Self to direct, guide and lead your
forgiveness practice.
2. Give thanks in advance for the healing and release this practice
brings.
3. Recall the person or situation in your mind.
4. Acknowledge the pain you and others felt/feel. (You don't need to
rehearse the pain - only acknowledge and honor that it was difficult.)
5. Become willing to release and be healed. Engender the feeling of
Willingness. (One way to do this is to consider the cost to you of not
forgiving; for example, reduced energy, less passion, unhappiness, a
feeling of being stuck)
6. Ask your Higher Self to help you see this (situation, circumstance or
person) differently, with greater compassion and understanding.
7. Repeat in your mind and your heart with feeling:
· Through the power of Love I forgive (you, the situation, myself,
everyone) completely!
· I only wish us well.
· May we each be happy.
· May we each be peaceful.
· May we each be free to live in love.
· Thank you God. Thank you Love! Amen
"Ultimately all forgiveness is self-forgiveness." - A
Course in Miracles
Happy Valentine's Day!
Carol
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